Top 10 Soul Sucking Time Wasters of 2016

2016 is almost over and what have we done? Probably not much. Just like most of us, you’re probably feeling pretty guilty about not being where you told yourself you would be this year. Are you 10 for 10? Read our list of the top 10 Soul Sucking Time Wasters of 2016. You may or may not be more productive after reading this.

(Photo: henriquekojiterao/deviantart)

1. Facebook

The holy mother of all things anti-productive? We’re all aware that Facebook is like a huge unforgiving black abyss that keeps sucking us in. You log in with the intention of checking your notifications. You know, just a two minute break from the minutia that is your work. But then, the endless scrolling, needless commenting and border line social media stalking just sucks up all your time and your sense of achievement. And what have you accomplished by the end of the day? You found the “Hey Boo” emoji? If you’re spending more time on Facebook than doing something productive and kickass, you should really reconsider your priorities.

2. Netflix

We’re wasting 568 hours a year watching Netflix. Although we’re pretty sure that a large percentage of that time is on just browsing the selections. What a waste of time. I’m pretty sure Netflix has more options for you to browse through than your local library. And it’s frustrating, after 20 minutes of browsing we want to just throw the remote at the screen and go do something productive, like woodworking or baking a cake.  At least the cake will be freakin’ delicious.

3. Youtube

I won’t say that YouTube, with its 490 million users, is bad. But can we all agree that YouTube’s comment section is one of the worst things mankind has ever invented? Its only purpose is for the NSA to develop their list of the most outrageous people on earth. But yet, we all get sucked right in. Why the heck did I just spend 20 minutes watching a guy carve a pumpkin and another 20 minutes reading all the comments from the pumpkin critics? In total as a group, people on this earth are wasting 2.9 billion hours on YouTube each month. Do you know what kind of massively amazing thing we can build or change together, if we, the people of this earth, commit that amount of time in doing?

At this point, you’re probably thinking “but all of time waster’s de-stress me”. Well, if you can’t break the addiction, how about limiting Facebook, Netflix and YouTube to an hour a day in total? Baby steps right?

4. Selfies

The Queen of time wasters sweeping our young nation, the average millennial will take 25,700 selfies in their lifetime. Actually, I’m not sure how they forecasted this number given that most millennial are not anywhere close to the end of their lifetime. Anyway, an average young lady is said to be spending 5 hours per week taking selfies. If you’re putting that much time in you should be more efficient at it. Plan of action? Either become this guy or cut back your contribution to the 93 million selfies taken each day.

5. Personal grooming

No one is saying that personal hygiene is a waste of time. BUT when in 2016, people average 4 hours a week on getting gussied up, you have to wonder how else that 208 hours annually could be spent. Good rule of thumb, if you’re looking at yourself for more than ten minutes before you leave the house think of ways to cut that time in half. You can do it.

6. Going to Get Coffee

What used to be a grab and go so you can handle your stuff habit has now turned into a “National waste your time oasis”. Let’s put aside the $100 a month you’re spending on your mocha frappe, half sweet, extra pump of nonsense concoction. What about all the hours you waste driving to the coffee shop, standing in the stupid line, putting up with the judgmental deadbeat hipster barista? Oh, and don’t forget the time you lose hanging out in the dimly lit café to check your Facebook or post one of those selfies to prove to everyone that you overpaid for a subpar cup of joe. Be kickass, make yours at home and take it black, hold the BS.

7. Online job applications

It is 2016 people, why are we still wasting hours with online job applications? There is not one enjoyable thing about sitting in front of a laptop for hours on end shooting blanks out to every job posting you can find under the WiFi sky. Today, when you post your resume online to a popular job site you can include yourself as one of the427,000 other hopeful suckers that post every week. Our advice, go an extra mile than all those other suckers, get off your ass and go talk to other humans face to face. Make friends, build relationships, wow people and get them to pay you.

8. Dating apps

If swiping left and right to find true love isn’t a waste of time then we seriously don’t know what is. You know all about the lies and deception. It’s safe to say the profile pic is only the start. Just think of what your grandma would say if she knew you were spending mad hours online cruising for booties? Sign up to a local meetup or go to the gym. At least you’re out doing fun activities and getting in shape.

9. Commuting

Not all that long ago the average commute of 25 minutes each day was already driving us mad. In 2016, we jacked that number up another 20 percent because why the heck not? To make it clear, that’s roughly 1.8 trillion minutes Americans spend commuting and hating every minute of it. If someone ever tells you that they enjoy their long commute that person is a liar and they cannot be trusted. So what do you do? Move to Thailand? Actually, don’t move to Thailand, your family and friends will miss you.

(Photo: DonkeyHotey/flickr/cc)

10. Watching the news

If ever there was a year spent wasting time watching the news it’s 2016. What the heck are they calling news these days? This one is a doozy and there are so many painful reasons why but we’ll give the majority of the credit to the Presidential Election. Every outlet is perpetuating their own agenda so you have to roll up your sleeves and dig into the piles of shit that get dumped on us in looped segments of noise. Look outside the box and seek out the truth. Educate yourself, use your brain to determine your own thoughts and have real discussions with real people. When in doubt, vote for common sense.

No more wasting time people. Get your shit together, grab some ridiculously strong ChestBrew coffee and be more efficient and effective in all the things that you do.